I have often wondered...those who sit behind their computer screens, offering up a piece of their mind. Do they look in the mirror and see a happy, content and peaceful person, staring back at them?
"Are YOU happy with your lot?” as Aro would say, as he looked (cynically) down upon Edward in ‘New Moon’
Cliché that might sound, but those words echo in my mind quite often. Especially as I look at my time spent in this fandom since 2008; when two people exploded onto the movie screens and thus created a cult following of twi-hards and Robstens, battling it out with the nonstens and the nonberts (collective names the entertainment media, gave to the obsession that is Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart)
The obsession has always been prevalent, particularly when the actor in the centre of such an obsession, has the appearance of any of the male species, who would walk past you in a checkout line in your local supermarket. Or offer you an “extra-large chip” at your fast food hot spot. In other words, he looks just like any Joe blogs (slang) except he has the label of actor; can be placed in some of the most expensive of clothes and has a following of young and old women, who believe he is the sun god - for their obsession with him knows no bounds.
We don’t choose who we fall in love with, it just happens. For those who understand the workings of the heart, the cliché response would be ‘the heart wants what the heart wants’ and this has never been more accurate when it came to the young actors, who signed their names on the dotted line for a (then) 3 movie deal, which turned out to be 5 in the end.
This became the battle that has ranged vast and wide over the 5 movies and beyond.
This persistent need to dismiss or dispute any romance as either a Public Relations statement (PR) or covering up for ‘confused’ sexuality status, has griped many in its argument and caused a social media obsession of which, I have never seen before in my life. It is psychologically common for a crush/fixation of a person, who you adulate and admire. Puberty plays a very important part in the growth of the young adult mind, when they finally come into the emotional and physical response of their genetic make-up and look towards the evolutionary need to meet and procreate. The physiological need is connected to the want and desire to fall in love, but this goes way beyond pubescent teens. Those I have borne witness to are far beyond that confused, emotional state of mind and are in some cases, mothers with young children of their own.
And yet the hate and revile of one young actress, is more venomous when it comes from the fingers and responses of those, who ‘should’ know better than to attack behind monikers. Thinking that as an anonymous face, their warrior cry can be hidden and accepted amongst others. As long as it’s done in secret, that is.
My admiration of this young actress and defender of her faith comes from the instinctual need to protect the female species. I have seen so many, play the cyber bullying card, loud and clear. It pains me to witness faceless women attack another, who has done nothing ‘personal’ to them whatsoever. Other than fall in love with an obsession they want. To live her life the best way she can under the enormous strain and circumstances of her ‘celebrity’ status. The jealous need to bring her down; to ridicule and reject her, comes from deep seeded insecurities. Insecurities those who ‘hate’ show time and time again, when they create blogs, Tumblr, Instagram and Twitter accounts, for the sole purpose of destroying Kristen Stewart’s image.
The personal lives of Rob and Kristen have been an ongoing speculation since 2008. When the open admiration was clearly evident as the media jumped on it, claiming the first tentative hints of ‘falling in love’ to those, who watched with armchair speculation, behind their computer monitors. Each offering up their point of view ‘are they, aren’t they?’
When it became glaringly apparent, that they were indeed a couple, it birthed the hate; the despicable cancer of this fandom and it began to fester and grow. That growth is more insidious with each new speculation, each decided hate, each pinch of jealousy, which seeps from their point of view. What has this young actress done to them? What has caused this repugnant hate of her?
These are questions I have often asked. Putting it to those who are hell bent in offering their ‘dismissive’ point of view, very clearly,
‘Why?’
I have yet to be given a proper answer, a counter argument to mine. Instead I get insults and slander; spluttering words of hate and jealousy with a ‘just because’ thrown in for good measure. These are women young and old; a generation seeking to find their own ‘perfect’ mate, but instead live in some kind of possessive fantasy land, where Robert Pattinson is theirs and only theirs. Have I mentioned that the most hate I read, comes from women old enough to actually know better and would be absolutely horrified if they were to be exposed for the haters that they are?
Hiding behind a moniker; the armchair warrior filled with hate, is ever present with each photograph that is snapped without the owner’s consent. Interview done in accordance to a movie release, photo shoot to go along with it, while the ‘haters’ pour over the words; dissecting and dismissing as if they too one day, can see their career in editing. I am by no means leaving out the obsessive fans, for they too can be just as ‘committed’ when it comes to wanting and needing to know everything that goes on in this young ‘celebrity’ couples lives.
The latest interview with a glossy female magazine, has stirred the pot once again. The pot I might add, that is always being stirred from one direction or another.
As an analyst, a therapist who works in Behavioural Psychology, I have had a lot of time to pour over the many emotions and personalities of this fandom of twi-hards, Robstens, nonstens and nonberts (the collective) names that I personally wouldn’t want to associate with myself, as labels never achieve anything. But my point is, over the past couple of years the increased obsession has now stretched to the hounding of family or friends on social network. No longer is it seen acceptable to stumble across something about either; read it and digest it for what it is. Now it’s the feverish stalking; insulting or embarrassingly asking personal questions, neither have any business asking. When did it become acceptable to treat a person you don’t know with utter contempt? To ask about their life as if it is perceived somehow as normal?
Robert has had his personal life used as some kind of sick joke; the multiple hook ups that have graced the cover of every ‘bottom of the bird cage’ magazine. Online celebrity blogs, reporting ‘fictional’ stories that hold no merit when it comes to telling the truth. But it sells with every click, with every magazine bought by housewives and fantasy filled teens, each looking a moment to escape and read about someone else. But it’s the lies that are spun and believed; the haters that keep this drama up, by feeding those willing to believe their fantasy, hate filled tale.
Kristen has been reviled since she first stepped out with Robert; her entire personality has been ripped apart by the very same women young and old, who believe in the hook ups and ‘secret girlfriends’ Robert has had. Why? Because they are the ones feeding this obsessive fantasy to anyone who listens – including the media, that’s why. They bring up an incident constantly that happened during the summer of 2012; believing they know the truth, they have the evidence, when all they have is a fictional tale from a photographer (freelance paparazzi) who just so happened to be there (coincidence?) at the time of the ‘supposed’ incident.
March forward almost a year later and once again, the media plays an insidious game of fictional story-telling with mediocre evidence - but in that, the haters believe. Again I refer back to this fandom’s ‘obsession’ with the lives of Rob and Kristen. The increased ‘need to know’ the worrying persistence of ‘work it out you two’ mantras you see daily. The ‘missing their faces’ and wanting just ‘one photograph, of them together’ becomes the footnote of every fan, desperate to know if they are together. Relying on ‘sources’ who hold their collective little groups together, making them believe they know something personal, something close to the situation.
I have read the words of such ‘insiders’ with an open mind. While I feel there are a few in this just for the bright spotlight placed upon their dreary existence, others most likely have some thin thread of truth woven through it. The problem I have with relying solely on an ‘insider/source’ are those, who want you to believe they are ‘in the know’, but make it glaringly obvious they are not, with their persistence. This desperate need to ‘prove a point’ has driven a couple, who just wanted to ‘live their lives’ into obscurity. Their personal life is constantly hounded and photographed; chased either in their cars or walking into a restaurant with their friends. People, fans want to befriend, haters want to attack and who find themselves in a daily struggle of having to delete messages sent in mocking clarity, the jealousy shouted loud and clear.
My point for this collection of musings?
Like I said, I am a defender of the female species when she gets attacked and such one woman is attacked, without provocation on her part. My need to defend a young man, who is unfortunately besieged with jealous women, who attack the person ‘he’ has chosen to be with. An ‘inquisitive’ poem, which has caused a stir amongst the fandom, with people deciphering the words to fit or not fit - as the case may be, their agenda. Those who have taken it for what it is; an openness of feelings and emotions at the time of writing it, and still the battle rages on…
When you fall in love, its personal, private and should be protected. It’s not up for scrutiny or ridicule. It’s not meant to be dissected and analysed by those, who have no place in your lives. And yet this fandom feels it has a responsibility to do this to both Rob and Kristen. A young girl in the cusp of womanhood, embarked on a journey that has changed her life. Her deep meanings and exposed emotions have been laid out, for those eager to cut her down and use against her. Instead of curling up into a foetal position like so many burdened with so much hate aimed in their direction, Kristen has stood up, walked taller and owned every single mistake she has ever made. She has never shied away from who she is or what she has done. She is honest in every single thing she does and will not apologise for it. This is who Kristen Stewart is - warts and all. This is the kind of person so many should look up to and hope to gain, even the smallest amount of the integrity, she has.
The person they obsess over. The man they want above everything else in their lives, what does he think?
You only have to look at the way Rob looks at Kristen, to find the answer. This young girl with a much older spirit inside her; this woman who is comfortable in her own skin found a person, a presence that blinds her with his beauty. She may guard her feelings and keep them close to her chest, when the world around her wants to know. But those feelings; those passions flow freely from her finger tips and connect to the one, who knows her better than anyone else.
A wiffle ball; is an round open piece of plastic, in which air can flow freely through – much like the blood flowing freely through a heart. Kristen’s heart is an open book to Rob and her blood courses through her heart, with every measured breath. Instead of hating someone who has found a person who completes and understands her, even when the world wants to pull them apart? You should instead be happy, that in life, true love does sometimes find its way.
Take a look in the mirror, what do you see?
"Are you happy with your lot?"
Tx
