T'was the night before Christmas...
T'was the night before Christmas,
When all through the house.
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be here.
Bear and Bernie were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of juicy bones and new toys, danced in their heads.
And Kristen with her 'kerchief' and Rob in his cap,
Had just settled down for their long winter's nap.
(Or so i was told, although that's a funny looking winter's nap going on right there!)
When out on the lawn, there rose such a clatter,
Rob rose from their bed, to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
tore open the security shutters and deactivated the infrared sash.
The moon on the breast of new fallen snow,
gave the lustre of midday, to the 'Obsessives' below.
When, what to Rob's wandering eyes, (with fingers already dialling 24hr security to bring cattle prods and straight jackets) should appear...
But a bloody great big sleigh and eight huge reindeer.
(filled to the brim with enough cake and carrots to last them a year!)
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Rob knew in a moment, it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than eagles, his courses they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
"Now, DASHER! Now, DANCER! Now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! On, CUPID! On, DONER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch of Rob and Kristen's house, to the top of the wall; aim your bums down below on the 'Obsessives' now 'FIRE away, FIRE away, FIRE away all!"
As dry heaving from the reindeer poop and yelling of obscenities let fly,
as the gathered group of 'Obsessives', shook their fists to the sky.
So into their cars still covered in carrot and cake stew,
St. Nick and his sleigh full of goodies left behind, as they flew.
Down Rob and Kristen's driveway and out into the night,
eight gassy reindeers and an old man had given them such a fright!
And then in a tinkling, Rob heard on the roof,
the prancing and pawing of each large reindeer hoof.
As he drew in his hand (still clutching his cell phone) and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed in all in fur, from his head to his foot,
(St. Nick not Rob)
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of goodies he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddlar, just opening his pack.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly elf,
Rob and Kristen laughed when they saw him (she woke up with the noise of St. Nick coming down her chimney) in spite of themselves.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave them the know, they had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings; (music, airline tickets for Australia. Gorgeous jewellery for Kristen, another guitar for Rob) then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, (not so old he appeared) as to his team he gave a whistle,
and away they (eight burly reindeer still snickering at the deluge they dropped on the 'Obsessives') flew, like the down of a thistle.
But Rob and Kristen heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!"
Tempest xx
